03/17/2021: i finally made this diary page in my website lolz. i've been really angry lately but o my god i think i was especially angry today. its all because my sister got mad at me for eating little like??? just let me be skinny u fucking bitch. also my family are a bunch of assholes i wish they would just fucking kill theirselves really annoying :T
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03/18/2021: school fucking sucks >:(( and im so scared that i might take summer classes cuz my parents will get really mad at me if i fail (T⌓T) i hope i dont.
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03/19/2021: "WhY aRe YoU nOt EaTiNg??" bcuz i can u dumb fuck. must be really easy for u to say when ur so skinny huh.
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03/20/21: my aunt stomped into the living room while i was just sitting in a chair minding my own business, she was holding a plastic bag and then pulled out a ceramic bowl and was about to smash it onto my head like really aggresively. she literally did that out of nowhere and i was probably so shocked that i woke up(not in a i had a really bad nightmare that im gasping for air kinda way, but more like i just opened my eyes really widely so fast lol). i wish it wasnt a dream.
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03/21/21: im so jealous of this bitch rn i swear to god i just might kill her.
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03/22/21: i think i might go insane. i lost count of how many nervous breakdowns i had over not being able to kill them. idk why but i just cant help that i literally lose my shit over everything they do. their existence just fucking infuriates me!!!!!!!! all my problems would be solved if all of them just killed theirselves.
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03/23/21: okay so we were eating lunch and this mf of a sister just HAD to point out that i was only eating little. keep in mind that she said that while my judgy, annoying, bitchass relatives were there. so OBVIOUSLY they just HAD to shame and get mad at me for it. you bitches are literally the reason im fucking doing this to myself. remember those years of shaming me and making comments on my body??? and plus i CLEARLY showed that i was uncomfortable w it but you just laughed it off saying it was a joke and that i was overreacting??? THAT WAS YOU GUYS. do you not understand why im doing this?????? do you know what it feels like to have skinny people being shoved down my throat?????? they also got mad at me bcz my aunt told me the other day that i looked skinny(thxx for the compliment btw) even if i do look skinny now, its still not skinny ENOUGH. i want to be like my younger brother skinny. I WANT TO BE REALLY SKINNY. why is it that when YOU want to change how ur body looks like its okay but when its with ME god forbid i want to have a thigh gap and a flat ass??? also isnt it weird how my sister aka A SKINNY BITCH was the one who pointed it out?? YOU DONT FUCKING UNDERSTAND MY PROBLEM BCZ AGAIN U R SKINNY. look i get that u also have ur insecurities w ur body and i completely understand that bcz its valid BUT DONT INVALIDATE MINE. I DO NOT GIVE A GODDAMN FUCK ABOUT YOU GUYS IF U OBVIOUSLY DO NOT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ME. TO GO AS LOW AS TO SHAME ME FOR IT IS CHILDISH. i mean im not that surprised since u guys r a bunch of manipulative and abusive shitheads. PLZZ FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO ME A FAVOR AND GO FUCKING KILL YOURSELVES(♡▽♡) but just to manifest it even more: KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS KYS
feeling:i want to kms♡♡♡

03/23/21: i wish i could just fall asleep and fly away to my own little world in my head and never wake up again.
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03/24/21: recently i watched a movie called suicide club and i think it was pretty great! i learned a lot from it and i feel like it kinda rly impacted me yk? and rn im reading a manga called monster!! ive heard a lot of good reviews from it so i was very intrigued c: also my progress w updating this site has been much slower than at first bcz i kinda lost the motivation to and i dont want to do it half-assed you know. but no worries!!! i think its just school that has been making me down so ill definitely try to keep up with my website♡
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03/24/21: i just ate dinner. fuck. i only ate bcz i didnt want them to get at mad at me again for not eating but hopefully tomorrow i think ill be able to not eat dinner anymore :))) the closest i can get to starving myself for a long time is to not eat anything after lunch until bed otherwise... also i feel very motivated to lose weight bcz i saw a lot of of meanspo and thinspo on twitter!! it has been rly helpful for me honestly and i think i might actually hav the chance to be rly skinny just in time for my birthday!! considering my situation in which i cant go fasting, i think 4 months will just be enough time for me to lose about 20 pounds! cant wait for the time where i wont be ugly anymore :3
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03/24/21: FUCKKK. i ate AGAIN right after i just ate dinner >:((( but i promise that starting tomorrow ill do my best to starve myself as much as i can so that ill finally be pretty!!!!♡♡♡ when i get to my goalweight of 70 pounds then i can finally live and feel better knowing im skinnier than my whole family and look hot as fuck!
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